People with emotional hypersensitivity transform ordinary missed steps into major offense that becomes an overreaching drama in present-day society. People respond with excessive intensity toward even minor mistakes whether through written correspondence or social media acknowledgment. Petty behavior acts as a hindrance to building meaningful relationships that exhibit reasoning among adults. I have a story about my sister along with her college friend that shows this behavior at its most petty point although it remains typical of everyday communication.
The Tale of the Unsent Birthday Wishes
Last Friday a college friend of my sister marked her birthday. My sister was unaware that she failed to share any birthday photos about the celebration on her WhatsApp status. Two days after the birthday passed the friend demanded an explanation from my sister about her failure to post birthday wishes and share pictures in her status update. My sister managed her busy schedule while seeing birthdays as insignificant to the broader pattern of life when she stated that it was not worth responding to. The friend erupted into anger after which she blocked all her contacts. The relationship between these friends collapsed because of what most individuals would view as a plain social misunderstanding.
This story to me felt both sidewise funny and worrisome. This situation brings both amusing feelings due to its trivial nature in life’s grand scale and worrying emotions from a cultural shift of choosing emotional reactions above reason-based calmness.
Stoic Insights: Focus on What Matters
Stoicism under Zeno of Citium during the early 3rd century BCE demonstrates that people should focus their emotional power on factors that actually belong to their control. Epictetus (c. 125 CE) affirmed as a Stoic philosopher and former slave in “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters” (Epictetus, 2008, p. 45). The social media posting events and domains controlled by my sister’s friend remain beyond the real boundaries of personal influence. Whether an online user posts your birthday picture belongs in an external category but deciding which response to choose stands within your own domain of control. Stoicism teaches to place emphasis on personal judgments instead of trivial external matters yet the emotional reaction that leads to friendship breakdown violates this fundamental principle (Epictetus, 2008).
Aristotelian Virtue Ethics: Finding Balance
During his time Aristotle (350 BCE) introduced his concept of virtue through the principle that ethical excellence exists between two opposing forces in the Nicomachean Ethics (Aristotle, 2011). For this definition the furthest points represent not caring about meaningful relationships and becoming overly emotional when encountering small inconveniences. As a response that encapsulates virtue one should accept a friend’s emotions while maintaining their emotional stability. According to Aristotle practical wisdom known as phronesis should lead someone to handle the situation composedly through expressing delayed birthday greetings along with apologies instead of making unreasonable demands during moments of anger (Aristotle, 2011). This balanced approach fosters resilient friendships and personal tranquillity
Another Tale of Pettiness: The Overlooked Coffee Order
Through the office assistant, John sends his request for one black coffee but gets delivered a latte instead. John chooses to express his disapproval through an open-air complaint that shames both the office manager and he declares an indefinite trust ban against his colleagues. John publicly embarrasses unknown office personnel with their coffee mix-up demonstrating virtually the same imperious conduct that my sister’s companion displays. John shows a weak ego that burns with excessive fury whenever he is offended which damages workplace peace and discredits himself.
Why Pettiness Is Poor Policy for Men
The behavior presents various aspects when men become its target. Society aims its pressure toward emotional control from men but pettiness emerges as a direct opposite causing immediate and insecure behavioral indicators of character immaturity. The men who express pettiness in their behavior mistakenly think they demonstrate strength while revealing their emotional youthfulness. Modern or ancient concepts of genuine masculine virtue focus on domination of emotions and reason and fearless decision-making. According to Aristotle courage serves as reasoned determination to encounter obstacles instead of reckless and mindless fighting (Aristotle, 2011). Pettiness exhibits itself as cowardice when a person refuses to accept small annoyances with peace. According to Stoicism as presented by Seneca (cited in Irvine, 2009) a powerful person keeps their mind serene while controlling emotions instead of allowing them to gain dominance (Irvine, 2009).
When males start quarrelling about minor things they lose trustworthiness as well as composure in addition to causing harm to their partnerships. Pettiness emerges from the inability to understand what truly needs attention above everything else while devote itself to meaningless individual disputes.
Cultivating Reason over Reaction
What steps do we need to take to overcome this trivial behaviour? Both Stoicism and Aristotelian virtue ethics offer actionable paths:
- Take a moment to analyse the situation before taking any action by determining what aspects truly rest under your authority. According to Stoicism followers should eliminate unimportant events from their core existence (Epictetus, 2008).
- Following Aristotle’s golden mean would mean avoiding both a lack of response and extreme reactions to situations in life. React empathetically yet maintain separation between your genuine emotions (Aristotle, 2011).
- Set distance in your thoughts between the present situation and the greater context. Thinking about the situation in hindsight produces laughter when considering the office coffee example. When you practice cognitive distancing you become less affected by minor offenses (Nussbaum, 1994).
- Deliberate practice methods allow a person to build emotional resilience similarly to how muscles grow from intentional exercises. Use minor annoyances starting with tardy messages and neglected tags as practice opportunities for choosing tranquil replies.
Conclusion
People currently face endless temptations to react in a petty manner because smartphones make us aware of everything and social media amplifies all offenses. Two examples of our preference for speedy emotions instead of composed reasoning demonstrate the current cultural trend. The combination of Stoic and Aristotelian philosophy guides us to handle situations by observing what we can manage and deciding on proper moral choices thus enabling emotional independence. These ancient philosophies help men particularly because their traditional roles usually avoid open introspection while offering stronger more genuine personal power. Through this process we can redirect our emotions toward building relationship connections alongside pursuing valuable work projects and eternal efforts toward virtue.
References
Aristotle. (2011). Nicomachean Ethics (M. Irwin, Trans.). Hackett Publishing.
Epictetus. (2008). The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness (S. B. Shaw, Trans.). HarperOne.
Irvine, W. B. (2009). A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. Oxford University Press.
Nussbaum, M. C. (1994). The Therapy of Desire: Theory and Practice in Hellenistic Ethics. Princeton University Press.
Kimmel, M. (2008). Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. Harper.
